I’m 20, and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how weird and scary the transition into adulthood is.
It feels like everything was normal not that long ago. You had your school friends, everyone was around, you could make plans without thinking too much about money, jobs, university, moving, or where everyone would end up.
And then suddenly people start leaving.
Friends go to different universities, different campuses, different cities or even different countries. Some people get into relationships, some start working, some move away, and suddenly getting the whole friend group together becomes surprisingly difficult.
I recently realized that I haven’t seen my whole friend group together for about three weeks. One of our friends is going to be leaving, and I really wanted us to have one last trip together before that happens. We were talking about going to Pattaya and a water park, but nobody has really been putting much effort into planning it, and one person said she’s already spending too much money.
I understand her completely. I don’t blame anyone. But it still makes me sad because I think I wanted the trip to represent something bigger: one last time where we’re all together before life starts changing.
At the same time, I keep seeing people online posting about their friendships, relationships, international friend groups, traveling together, going to different countries, having these seemingly amazing lives. And sometimes I catch myself comparing my life to theirs.
Then I have to remind myself that everyone’s circumstances are different. Some people have more money, different schools, different families, different opportunities, different personalities, and different responsibilities. Social media only shows a tiny part of someone’s life.
I think I’m slowly realizing that adulthood isn’t necessarily about keeping everything exactly the same. Maybe it’s about learning how to maintain relationships even when life stops being convenient.
But honestly, the shift still feels scary.
One day you’re just a student hanging out with your friends, and then suddenly you’re making decisions about where you’re going to live, what you’re going to study, how much money you have, what country you’re going to be in, and what happens when the people you’ve grown up with aren’t physically around anymore.
I know this is probably normal. I just wasn’t expecting the transition to feel so sudden.
For those who are already a little further into adulthood: does this feeling eventually become less scary? And how did your friendships and relationships change as everyone started going their own way?