r/mildlyinteresting • u/Mathsci225 • 7h ago

My ham inflated like a balloon while in the refrigerator

Post image
8.1k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

1.6k comments sorted by

18.1k

u/diescheide 7h ago

Don't eat that ham.

766

u/Altruistic-Star-3862 6h ago

16

u/GaleInsideOprahsPuss 2h ago

Nickle off expired baby food!

SOLD!

20

u/DexterLMN 2h ago

this is the 3rd time this week I've seen this date show up on an expired item. once was in a tv sitcom, another was in a tiktok of people finding expired things in their grandparents house, and now this. 

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u/not_a_moogle 2h ago

Silly customer, you can not harm a twinkie!

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4.6k

u/gorginhanson 7h ago

ah a little reverse psychology

2.0k

u/diescheide 7h ago

Eat the ham at your own risk.

1.3k

u/0rclev 6h ago

Eat the ham at your own risk, you coward.

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736

u/norskgut 6h ago

OP:

https://giphy.com/gifs/p3Wl6y9bTgyYw

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u/regoapps 5h ago edited 2h ago

Do not eat the ham, dear Sam!
Do not eat the rotten ham!

If you bite that bad meat,
Your intestines will scream!
You’ll shoot out both ends
Like a valve venting steam!

Do not touch that ham!
Do not give it a lick!
When germs are gassy,
They will make you sick!

The wrapper’s full of farts!
It’s stretched like a balloon!
If you poke it with a fork,
It will blast to the moon!

Do not eat the ham, dear Sam!
Do not eat the rotten ham!

58

u/saNsthedrone 4h ago

It's him. The second coming of Dr.Seuss

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u/gorginhanson 3h ago

You’ll shoot out both ends
You'll both yoink and then yeet*

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u/Bowshewicz 5h ago

Okay, now what was it that diescheide said to me about eating three hams?

22

u/Ok_Coconut_1773 4h ago

3 hams will fill him

3 hams will thrill him

Why don't you feed him 3 hams?

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u/character101 6h ago

or microwave it... grandpa ate nuked green ham and ate it saying, "better living through chemistry"... he was an oil man and died at 94

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u/posthamster 5h ago

Was he 94 when he ate the ham?

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u/Meta2048 3h ago

Keep in mind that a lot of the time the problem isn't the live bacteria, it's all the shit that the bacteria left behind.

21

u/mindfungus 5h ago

Was he 94 when he ate that ham?

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2.0k

u/Big_Z_Beeblebrox 7h ago

Bacteria farts

425

u/Cowpocolypse 6h ago

Never buy puffy bag. It’s just full of farts.

64

u/ManyReach7296 5h ago

Ham farts can be pretty bad.

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13.4k

u/imnottosureaboutthat 7h ago

That means bacteria right?

5.0k

u/SeeisforComedy 7h ago

Yurp

2.2k

u/bsipp777 6h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/UHYauo4ifdhlJs0vjB

676

u/Moomintroll02 6h ago

Holy shit. I just realized he plays The Hound in Game of Thrones.

210

u/Belly-twister 5h ago

And Hodor is a professional DJ. He holds the door but drops that bass.

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u/NarrMaster 6h ago

Damn, Sandor really took a hit to his head, knocked all his hair off.

12

u/EnkiduTheGreat 6h ago

Are you sure this is what you want?

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u/HyrrokinAura 6h ago

I so badly want to see Till Lindemann cosplay this guy.

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242

u/FrostyCartographer13 6h ago

Bacteria farts more specifically

78

u/stonehaens 5h ago

Which is fine in bread and pizza dough. Not so much in ham.

58

u/topturo77 4h ago

Pedantic, but yeast isn’t bacteria, so bacterial farts in dough is also bad. 

49

u/pipnina 4h ago

Sourdough contains Lactic acid and acetic acid bacteria, and they're quite active because those two acids are what give the bread its flavour.

*some* bacteria is very desirable!

6

u/stonehaens 4h ago

I appreciate the comment. So quick google says pure yeast isn't bacteria. If you do sourdough there's bacteria in it tho?

6

u/topturo77 4h ago

I think so, since starter uses natural yeast present in the flour. 

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u/Mathsci225 7h ago

The nerd in me wants to make a bacteria culture now, see what's in the ham

619

u/Trashbagok 7h ago

You never know how serious someone is in a reddit thread but that would be inching toward r/mediuminteresting territory and I am here for it.

118

u/OneEyedCrackShot 7h ago

r/subsifellfor

89

u/SaltMineForeman 7h ago

You would like r/midlyinteresting then if mild isn't your thing.

38

u/cj91030 7h ago

Afterlooking at that, apparently mid is lower on the interest scale than mild.

61

u/DrSpacemanSpliff 7h ago

Have you tried r/moldlyinteresting for your moldy needs?

25

u/PerodisCS 6h ago

And, for your most benign, dull, and straight up boring everyday occurrences we have r/notinteresting

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u/SaltMineForeman 7h ago

We also have r/interestingasfuck but it's often too interesting sometimes for my own tastes.

18

u/UJustGotRobbed 6h ago

Honestly it's usually something that is in fact, not interesting as fuck.

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u/Hoboliftingaroma 7h ago

Butcher here. It's leuconostoc mesenteroids and to a lesser extent, lactobacillus.

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u/glowFernOasis 7h ago

can you lacto ferment ham?

186

u/be4u4get 7h ago

Oh, you can lacto ferment anything with nipples

160

u/Casty_McBoozer 7h ago

I have nipples, Greg. Can you lacto ferment me?

29

u/Trashbagok 7h ago

I bet you'd make a tasty kombucha.

13

u/monsieur_cacahuete 7h ago

There I go lacto fermenting again

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u/1heart1totaleclipse 6h ago

The lactobacillus that’s in probiotic yogurt?

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u/BurningBright 6h ago

Yep. Lactobacillus is the bacteria that turns milk into yogurt and also is what makes fermented  pickles and kimchi. 

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u/tyedge 6h ago

Don’t do that. Stick with uncultured swine.

10

u/Phormitago 6h ago

A through Z Coli

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u/WastedBadger 6h ago

Or it was shipped to a different elevation.

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9.4k

u/zeejay772 7h ago

Do not eat, hopital

2.9k

u/gorginhanson 7h ago

inflation is out of control these days

104

u/no0ns 6h ago

They had this happen to prepackaged ham in multiple Sonic restaurants. Just google 'Sonic Inflation' and look at the pictures, it's pretty nasty.

45

u/polmuadi 3h ago

Jesus Christ, what have I done. Mr. Palantir, do not enter that search on my record, please. I was fooled.

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u/kirani100 1h ago

As an artist who had to use Deviantart in he early 2010s, I could never fall for this.

5

u/CptAngelo 1h ago

I was about to fall for it, i had forgotten about all that forbidden, cursed knowledge, i think theres a reason i forgot about it lol

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u/fitzejunk 7h ago

A spoiled ham lifts all boats.

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600

u/Walter_Stonkite 7h ago

Hambulance.

217

u/Bananas1nPajamas 7h ago

Whooaaa black forest betty

120

u/GeraintLlanfrechfa 7h ago

Ham-a-lam!

22

u/StarstruckEchoid 5h ago

Clostridium had a child, botu-li-num!

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u/tedfergeson 6h ago

Ham-goes-blam!

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u/dang_envy 6h ago

I think Steve ate a lot more than us.

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u/kubok98 7h ago

L'Hopital's rule will help you find the limit of your body when you eat it

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u/jvson_ 6h ago

Calc PTSD

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u/housevil 7h ago

But inhaling the ham air is OK, right?

36

u/sirjeef 6h ago

Check your refrigerator too. It’s possible it stopped cooling at some point

11

u/mf-TOM-HANK 6h ago

Must have a Kenmore fridge

Source: just bought a brand new Kenmore fridge that shuts down for no apparent reason and hovers around 50-60°F for a while

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u/Organic_Swimming3442 7h ago

Pop it

41

u/thetyler83 7h ago

Twist it.

12

u/GeraintLlanfrechfa 7h ago

Fire it up, come alooong

7

u/jgray6000 6h ago

Take a hit from the hammmm

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u/PokeballSoHard 6h ago

Someone call the hambulance....

But not for me!

7

u/BadHombreSinNombre 6h ago

I don’t think the hospital is gonna be able to help that pig

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2.5k

u/NoKarmaNoCry22 6h ago

Spoiled ham exhales
A foul wind haunts the kitchen
Even flies retreat

956

u/FreeNinedy9 6h ago

Nice hamku

110

u/Educational_Fox6899 4h ago

Gesundheit

37

u/WalnutSnail 2h ago

Auto-translate ruined this

"Health"

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u/henrydaiv 2h ago

Lol i closed out quickly after half reading this. I had to reload and scroll all the way back down to tell you this was great.

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u/GenDislike 6h ago

Leave it on the counter and the flies will line up like studio 6

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u/whutchamacallit 6h ago

Literal poetry. Have a lovely day.

66

u/AdjunctFunktopus 6h ago

Ghost of Miss Piggy

Inflates this lunch meat balloon

Eat it you coward

37

u/Cultural-Company282 5h ago

Rotten ham haiku

Beauty in fermentation

Do not eat it, though

12

u/legojoe97 5h ago

Hamku

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u/SaltyNeuron 7h ago

Is the fridge plugged in??

168

u/ClamFlan 6h ago

Yes, directly into the ham

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1.7k

u/ncc74656m 7h ago

Don't eat it - fizzy lifting ham is dangerous as you could fly away.

350

u/skinnymatters 6h ago

AND bump into the ceiling, which now has to be CLEANED

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u/Salt-Professional-88 6h ago

Fun fact: This is how red bull is made

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u/moesbeard 6h ago

Even more fun fact: Red Bull is named that because thats what they decided to name it when they were naming it.

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1.1k

u/Rodfather23 7h ago

Doctors hate this one weight loss trick!

349

u/-SaC 7h ago

"Are you tired of your insides lazing around, always on your inside..?"

5

u/ItsCalledDayTwa 4h ago

I hate it when my innards aren't trying to be my outards

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u/WideEyedWand3rer 7h ago

Yeah, it lacks vegetables. Better add lettuce for a more balanced diet.

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u/Taylor_sy 6h ago

I'm one lettuce away from my weight goal

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u/WideEyedWand3rer 5h ago

Lettuce pray for you.

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u/Suchofu 7h ago

Shit nonstop until I died.

Never looked better.

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u/firethorne 7h ago

Which means your ham is an active ecosystem. Do not eat

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u/Dusk_v733 7h ago

Cosume the ham.

I am become destroyer of worlds.

30

u/mafiaknight 6h ago

And that particular world am become destroyer of your butthole

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u/SpelunkPlunk 6h ago

Destroyer of bowls

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u/Bitter-Ad5890 4h ago

Destroyer of bowels*

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u/dinnerthief 7h ago

Ham balloon, that was my nickname in highschool

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u/BargainScotch 7h ago

Explains the username.

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u/Nitrogen1234 7h ago

Skinny fucker

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u/WaffleHouseGladiator 7h ago

Still is, but it used to be too.

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u/dinnerthief 6h ago

Yea but now im Mr. Ham Balloon

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u/speckledham 6h ago

Your bacteria has some ham on it

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u/theonlybuster 7h ago

Toss it. It's completely bad. No sense in keeping it in the house any longer.

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u/Tcloud 6h ago

Maybe as an art piece that represents the downfall of society.

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u/headspreader 6h ago

Thank you, art is not dead yet, it just smells like bloated ham

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u/thnk_more 6h ago

If he takes it out of the package and wraps it in some loose aluminum foil it won’t balloon up like that so that means it will be fine. /s

Edit: That’s a joke. Don’t do it.

Real answer is, that ham is from flying pigs, which are known to be toxic to people. So still, don’t eat it.

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u/turboRock 6h ago

don't open. dead inside

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u/GloomyMarionberry362 6h ago

Don’t dead. Open inside.

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u/JoneyBologna 6h ago

Don’t inside. Open dead.

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u/iightbet 4h ago

Inside open. Don’t dead.

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u/zeldanar 3h ago

Ill do you a better one: WHY Gamora!

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u/mushroomie719 6h ago

That’s not your ham anymore.

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u/prince-pauper 6h ago

Not good. Trust me, I’m a Ducktor

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u/arlenroy 7h ago

I would say its mildly terrifying, there's a science project going on in there, you'd wish you only had explosive diarrhea after eating that.

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u/johnsolomon 7h ago

If it's inflated it means the bacteria inside are creating gas through fermentation/spoiling

Don't eat it

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u/PinkDalek 7h ago

It's full of bacteria farts!

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u/scrotalsac69 7h ago

Might taste a little funny, but it's a great weight loss diet

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u/inksta12 7h ago

Nothing like a little butt pee to make you feel extra skinny

45

u/Bananas1nPajamas 7h ago

Add some Taylor Farms lettuce to this sandwich for the ultimate weight loss hack

16

u/map2photo 6h ago

And some jalapeños for an extra kick.

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u/TheRuckus8 6h ago

Delicious botulism

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u/Orange_Tang 4h ago

Botulism actually doesn't produce gas which is one of the reasons it's so dangerous. It doesn't have any obvious signs that it's there most of the time.

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u/mrv113 7h ago

Bacteria fart ballon.

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u/BitterExChristian 7h ago

That means it’s ready

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u/PinkDalek 7h ago

For the trash can!

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u/dweebybaybee 7h ago

looks like you bought some lism or whatever

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u/dweebybaybee 7h ago

is this anything?

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u/theunkarma 7h ago

No it's nothing

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u/voncletus 2h ago

Bacteria produce air when they digest and multiply. Bloated packaging is a sign there is bacteria in your meat. Do not eat that.

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u/Nitrogen1234 7h ago

It went ham

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u/mckapy 6h ago

This is what happened to Alex Jones, basically. Popped like a balloon

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u/AsteriusNeon 6h ago

Hey maybe dont eat that

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u/Lazerbeams2 1h ago

Look, if you eat that ham, you will deeply regret it

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u/1873Springfield 7h ago

Yeah, I wouldn't open that

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u/Leftblankthistime 7h ago

That’s gonna have Taylor farms outcomes

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u/Blacksh33p78 6h ago

It's a Portuguese ham of war

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u/ToxicVampire 6h ago

Bet this would pair well with some Taylor Farms salad.

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u/ReignofKindo25 1h ago

Oxygen or CO2 being produced by bacteria

It rotten

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u/Mecha-Dave 6h ago

That means it's ripe. Enjoy!

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u/3ZKL 46m ago

“is that ham processed? If it’s processed I don’t want it.” Ma’am, that is an eleven pound whole slab of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs, emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk. God had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. The fact that this ham monolith exists proves that God is either impotent to alter His universe or ignorant to the horrors taking place in his kingdom. This prism of pork is more than deli meat. It is a physical declaration of mankind’s contempt for the natural order. It is hubris manifest. We also have a lower sodium variety if you would prefer that.

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u/omnichad 7h ago

Get a thermometer to keep in your fridge if it's not that old. Also, your orange juice has gone bad too.

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u/Supernovali 6h ago

Diarrhea ham has entered the chat 💩

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u/GooseGosselin 5h ago

Unless you bought it from a store a few thousand feet lower in altitude, that ham is funky.

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u/Greg0692 1h ago

You're one sandwich away from an impressive weight loss regimen.

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u/Jumpy_Current_195 6h ago

Reddit used to be a place where you could find answers to random & interesting things, now it’s a place where ppl leave the same identical lame comment back to back, begging for upvotes & no one actually explains the answer itself.

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u/ClaudeGascoigne 7h ago

That's a Hillshire Farms product. I stopped buying anything they make, especially cold cuts, years ago. Their cold cuts go rancid way faster than the store brand versions. In addition to that, their product quality has been really poor since around 2020.

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u/Mathsci225 6h ago

I think next time I'm gonna go to an actual deli

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u/DMCinDet 6h ago

grocery store deli here makes pre packed bags of lunch meat and cheese for when the deli counter is closed or you dont want to wait in line.

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u/mentalsmokemirror 7h ago

You dont have ham, you have bioweapon

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u/Hydraton3790 6h ago

Do not eat. Immediately throw away. If eaten, hopital.

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u/skyfishgoo 4h ago

throw it out, or you will wish you had.

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